I’m a Pundit

It’s not often that I see something that makes me doubt the sanity of my own countries language, today however I saw this…

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

written by Oli \\ tags: English Language

Whether you are in the Uk, USA or mainland Europe chances are you will have seen some aspect of the financial crisis in the guise of troubled banks being bailed out by the government.  But what exactly does this mean, why does it happen and more importantly why shouldn’t it happen?

We have seen on many occasions banks being given tens to hundreds of billions of dollars.  These staggering sums keep banks in business, allow people to spend more.  But at the same time people are taking the money out of the banks they are paying more in taxes, all for it to bail out yet another bank.

It is infact a vicious cycle, the governments in charge a the moment dont wan’t the economic crash to happen so are pumping in moneyto the banks,while raiseing taxes to compensate for the loss.

It sounds pretty terrible, the truth is though our economy is still actually quite strong, and yes we are still paying too much, infact if you look at actual inflation vs wages you will find that even if the market drops a further 20% we will still be poorer than we were 30 years ago.

The truth of the matter is that a crash has to happen, people will lose jobs, banks will go bankrupt and people will lose money.

In other news Boy George was arrested for handcuffing a male ‘escort’ to some rails, I will avoid making the obvious ‘do you really wan’t to hurt me’ song reference here and instead go on to mention that you have to be careful forrockstars who may sem loveable, but often use their on stage personalaty as camoflage, rather like a karma karma karma karma chameleon.

I’ll get my coat.

written by Oli \\ tags: Bail-out, Banks, Celebrities, Recession

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Hope the traditional family visit, argment and feasting went smoothly!

written by Oli \\ tags: Merry Christmas!

I was pleased to see that the Government has decided to officially tackle the obesity problem. Yes that’s right, all you fat bastards out there, you are now officially a problem.

This new campaign has been brought together after an obviously shammed together report claimed that in 2050 90% of people will be overweight.  Judging by this I have looked at decent trends and deduced from the governments recent interest rate cuts that in 2050 interest rates will be at minus 30%.  Good news for mortgage holders but sorry savers, your lucks not in.I am not sure exactly how the government is deducing it’s priorities, I mean lets face it, they are pretty much removing all aspects of fitness from our every day lives, take for instance the following :-Rising taxes on pub beers forcing people to shop for booze at the supermarket - This not keeps people at home rather than visiting the pub! (On a serious note I know 3 pub football teams that have collapsed due to the insane rises in alcohol tax), forcing people to stay at home is not only damaging pubs but removing a lot of social activities, many of which ARE fitness related.Increased benefits for single parents - Gone are the days when b***rdry was a crime.  Today we promote single parentage and following that the number of children eating at Macdonalds everyday on non working single parent support has risen drastically.  (On a serious note here a huge percentage of obesity comes from government supported families, this is not coincidence)Compare this to times past when single mothers were flogged and sent to the work house while their children had to walk to London and survive on stolen vegetables while performing spontaneous song and dance routines with surprisingly athletic stall holders.  You can suddenly see why obesity has risen drastically from 200 years agoClosing Sport and Health Facilities - I am not so sure about other areas but due to lack of funding my local city has wait for it NO inner city sports facilities.  This means no cheap government subsidised gym, no swimming pool, nothing infact other than quite a lot of paths which can be run along with only minor damage caused to your knees.Anti Bullying Legislation - Yes I know it may seem cruel and no one likes to see a child picked on.  But lets face it, nothing will get a kid on the sport track faster than 50 of his peers calling him fatty and throwing pies at him.  I think a lot of problems that are around today come from too many rights organisations and do-gooders making life too cushy, these same people have caused countless c*ck ups with their mis-management and shot sightedness.All in all I am not surprised obesity is increasing.Infact the only light at the end of the tunnel I can see most surprisingly came from Gordon brown (although in some ways it isn’t that surprising, the money grabbing retard doesn’t see the benefits the scheme will have on the country he merely sees a quick buck).  Yes that’s right, in the near future it will be much harder to claim benefits unless you are actively looking for work!British Economy

written by Oli \\ tags: Depression, Law, Politics, Recession